Paucity of Professionalism

I had a meeting scheduled with my supervisor today, to be done over the phone as I am currently away dealing with family issues. This conversation was to be the first after a month and a half of me e-mailing her, dropping by, phoning her – trying to get some feedback so I know if the work that I have been doing for the last month and a half was all for naught, or not. I had been preparing for several days so I would be good to go, hopefully reducing the amount of stuttering I usually engage in by at least three-fold.  I call, right on time –

 And she is in a meeting. She will be in meetings all day but will call me sometime tomorrow.

 What happened to professionalism? I mean, how difficult is it, exactly, to send an e-mail or make a quick call to say that something came up, and that we need to re-schedule? And you knew about this meeting for over a week, am I so unimportant that you feel free to schedule things during my time? What the hell am I paying all this tuition for? A library card?

 Apparently, instead of supervision, my tuition pays for me to work independently and be the proud owner of a $5 000 library card to a lacklustre library filled with first years making out, chatting on msn, sleeping, or talking on their cell phones, instead of new (or even newish) books.

I lie about being away (on msn).

It is Saturday night, 11:00pmish, and I am on away (on msn). People my age are gearing up to go to the bar or pub etc., drinking far too much at home so they don’t have to pay for as many drinks at the bar (stellar logic, by the way, drunkards) and putting on their bests to do it up till about 2-3pm, when they will probably go get a shawarma, or a poutine. (Getting both would be gross. Grosser still if they got a Beavertail for dessert.) Clearly, I am online insofar as I am writing a blog right now, doing the doberman (as it were) instead of working on my thesis, as per usual.

Why do I do this?

I’d like to say I’m not sure.

But I am. I think.

I don’t want to seem uncool – like I am loser enough to be on the computer at 11:00pmish on a Saturday night.

The thing is, I am uncool. People are aware of this, and they give me mad props for my coolness about being uncool. I feel that I have said cool too many times, and that it is possible that cool isn’t the cool way of saying cool anymore, making all of this thereby hella uncool. That last sentence should be in a footnote, but I don’t think there is a footnoting function on wordpress. That one too. And that one. Fuck. Parentheses would have also worked I guess. But I prefer footnotes. Or, apparently, commenting on the paucity of footnotes on wordpress in a paragraph.

In fact, people still talk to me when I am away – they suspect that I am there, idlely surfing youtube or sending half a ninja and the red-headed avenger way, way too many e-mails. And there’s one now. AND NOW I AM MAKING SMALL TALK WITH SOMEONE I DON’T EVEN LIKE.

I suspect I am a tool.

I should probably either sign-out and do some work, or own up to my online disposition, and take some freaking pride in it.

Fuckology: A Dialogue.

Pseudonym says:
I am irritated when I talk about this paper, because it’s content is fuckology.

p4p says:
Oh, I haven’t heard of Fuckology – care to elucidate?

Pseudonym says:
Fuckology: n.

(1) used to describe things that are ‘fucked’ or otherwise fuck over the author;

(2) term best used in reference to my theory class and anything relating to Habermas.

p4p says: says:
what do you mean “otherwise fucking over the author”?

Pseudonym says:
Because author wants to kill herself because of the fuckology involved in theory

p4p says: says:
Ah, so she’s fucked.

*****

Although a circular theory, fuckology is often employed in the humanities, particularly in the realm of sociology studies – and is most often found in the creation or synthesizing of theory or methodological frameworks. Basically, it involves citing pretentious prats who use big words to explain simple to complex social etc. phenomena in order to seem legitimate. Not to be confused with the science of sex (of “fucking” as it were), fuckology seems to have come about because of feelings of inadequacy of those in the arts and social scientists in relation to other, real, scientists.

Breaking News: New Brunswickian Assailed by Christmas Cheer

Early this evening, a red headed New Brunswickian (originally hailing from Away) was assailed by Christmas cheer.

Upon arriving home he found his apartment littered various Christmas decorations, paraphernalia, ambieatic music - and the assailant, his heterosexual life partner, with visions of sugar plums dancing in her head.

Confused, he looked to the cats to find some sanity.

Unfortunately, they too had been afflicted by the CC.

It is likely that he too will be similarly afflicted by this epidemic that is sweeping across the nation, and all over the world.

We, the cynical from Away, send our condolences for his previous disposition.

Forserious question?

If a student can’t spell deferral, should you give them one?

Emoting Marks 101

Have a stack of awful first year papers to mark?

I have just the thing for you!

It’s the EMOTER 500!

That right folks, instead of providing your TA’s with an actual marking rubric or needless guidelines, just tell yours slaves, I mean TAs, to just emote the marks!

Emote the waaa?

The Marks!

Under the Emoter 500 grading isn’t so much about the content, but the mark you feel the content deserves!

But, what if the TA is in a bad mood, a bitch, or has a bout of bad gas and is emoting bad vibes generally?

Too bad!

Oh.

So, how does the EMOTER 500 work?

Well, basically you point your Care Bear Stare at the assignment in question, and you will feel a mark, down in the very cockles of your soul!

It’s easy, affordable, and way way less time consuming than making actual marking guidelines!

EMOTER 500: Helping grades get appealed since 2006.