Boy did that hurt.
NOTE: For the purposes of this entry “awesome” means “douchey”.
Where was I off to, you ask?
To present at my very first conference.
Did I get a black eye?
Not yet, but I suspect it is around the corner.
When did I realize my shirt was on inside out?
About ½ an hour before I had to present.
How did it go?
Umm…I have no memory of anything I said or the degree to which I was stumbling over my words. Leaving felt good. To help me slip into denial mode, I tossed on my ipod (playlist: “This is what it would sound like if the 90s threw up”) and walked home reflecting on my presentation…
Come on come on
Feel it feel it
Feel the vibration
I remember feeling nauseated…
It’s such a good vibration
It’s such a sweet sensation
slightly light-headed…
It’s such a good vibration
It’s such a sweet sensation
and that it was awesome that my co-presenter cut me off everytime I was making a point to make that point “better”.
Yo! It’s about that time
To bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme
I’m a get mine so get yours
I wanna see sweat comin’ out your pores
Then I hit up the grocery store, nearly having a nervous breakdown when phylis – 1 L 1 S – accidently put the cherries in as fucking avacados and proceeded to discuss how the difference was only a couple of cents so it didn’t matter. You know what Phylis? It does matter. That’s how the fucking grocery store orders in food. Now there are going to be like, way way too many avacadoes and far too few cherries to go around. And some kid with diabetes who likes cherries is going to die when his insulin is low and all he can reach for are some unrippened avacadoes. How do you feel about having that on your head, Phylis?
On the house tip is how I’m swingin’ this
Strictly Hip-Hop boy, I ain’t singin’ this
Bringing this to the entire nation
Black, white, red, brown
Feel the vibration
Anyways, overall I think it went OK.
And that I may or may not have an ulcer.
