I should be in Atlanta right now, presenting at my second conference. Instead, I lost my passport and got to write up really boring descriptive statistics all week.
Sometimes I amaze myself with putzyness.
At least my shirt wasn’t on inside-out, I guess.
Also, I ca’t believe I got Osmond-ized, harsh 50 percent ninja, harsh.
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Scene: Group of workers desperately trying to get a piece of cake during office gathering…
Sally: …What’s a donkey punch?
[Everyone Snickers]
Sally: Son of a nutcracker. Tell me! WHAT IS A DONKEY PUNCH?!
Bob: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Kevin: Not something you should be yelling about. Ass.
Bob: Especially in a work environment.
Sally: Then tell me what it is!
P4p: No way. I am not saying that out loud. You can find out in your own time.
Sally: Screw you guys.
Bob: Why don’t you Google it?
Kevin: Not something you want to Google
Sally: Should I actually Google it at work?
Bob: [shakes head]
P4p: [gives Sally a look]
Sally: I mean, what are they going to do if I do Google it. I could say I did it by accident if anyone ever asked. You know what? I am going to Google it. To spite all of you bastards.
P4p: I don’t think it’s possible to type “Donkey Punch” into Google by accident. Especially with the safe search off.
Bob: [shrugs]
As everyone is done their cake and therefore have no reason to be at the “party” they return to their respective offices.
* * * *
Sally alone in office Googles Donkey Punch, finds the definition and e-mails it to P4p.
P4p goes into Sally’s office.
P4p: I can’t believe you actually Googled it.
Sally: But I did it really fast!
P4p: You’re right. I guess the tech people can’t see what pages we visit on the internet “if we visit them really fast”. Ass.
Sally: Screw you. You should have just told me.
P4p: How could you not know that already? That saying is as infamous as the “Dirty Sanchez”.
Sally: What’s a Dirty Sanchez?
