Facebook Forseriousness 101

The following is a list of means to seem more serious. They are the result of rigorous empiricalish investigations. In particular, a snowball sample of a number of Facebook pages and their corresponding blogs were subject to content-like analyses using a handful of signifiers derived from sociological research.

• do not use any capitals. even, perhaps especially, after a period.
• when referring to oneself be sure to use an uncapitalized “i”. this is so serious it may actually be artful.
• take a few minutes each day to just be in the moment, and then blog about it. further, unnecessary, yet meaningful paragraph usage will likely ensure you taken as seriously as you surely feel when listening to your my chemical romance album.

i use this on my page.

 

        where p is for pretention.

 

 

(not to be mistaken for pretension)

 

 

 

        (i claim this word for my own)

 

 

 

 

(masking not my façade)

(artful, shall be my home.)

• Fuck that was serious. Oh shite I broke character.
• it is imperative to include actual art on your facebook page if you are to be taken forseriously.

in particular, it is best to include your own attempts at photography or perhaps even more so your own drawings.

 

 

to really drive it home, relate any included art to detailed or poetic accounts of your dreams, or greenhouse gas emission-related tirades.

• Finally, some more obvious means of exuding forseriousity: cite theorists, jazz musicians, varyingly obscure writers and poets, and post pics of yourself in a che t-shirt, or writing at a (shadegrownorganicfreetrade) coffee shop on your facebook page.

Fin