I started today off with a tampon up my nose.

Some people wake up on the wrong side of the bed. That is nothing – I started today off by shoving a (regular flow sized) tampon up my nose.

It’s not a fetish or anything, I promise.

You may have seen this done in like sports-type movies. The protagonist, or better yet the antagonist, gets a bloody nose from like a football being thrown at his face, or perhaps a baseball in the nose, etc. etc. I get them from changes in humidity and temperature. How lame is that?

Super lame.

Hella-lame, even.

I feel that saying hella-lame may be lame in and of itself.

I don’t even have to touch my nose for this shit to happen. I will just be like walking along the street, or going into the 7-11 to get a slushy and WHAM! I start gushing blood from the face, which tends to freak out non-bleeders. Brutal.

Anyways, what they don’t tell you about stuffing a tampon up your nose is that it expands as the liquid touches it, stretching out your nostril. If you have lengthy nosebleeds this can become quite painful.

This blog has been brought to you by procrastination. Procrastination: fucking over grad students since pretty much the beginning.