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Caution: Doom Still Impending

May 27, 2007

It seems that the Terror Alert was reduced to Yellow – an elevated risk of a terroristic attack – sometime between now and the last time I blogged about how to prepare yourself for the inevitable. Yellow, of course, means there is a significant risk of a terrorist attack. Luckily, there is some discussion surrounding building a moat (in addition to the fence) on the US and Mexico border, which will significantly reduce the risk of terrorism, and could possibly lower the terror alert to blue – a general risk of terroristic attacks.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_the_u_s_moat

Hopefully, this idea will be extrapolated to the North so that the US may protect itself from Canada, a nation known to be a brothel house of terroristic breeding.

Constant viligance, my friends.

p.

6 comments

  1. ROFL! I think we should put a wall and moat on the northern border of texas, this way we keep the ken lays, and g’dubya bushs out of our country!

    We have little to worry about from canada. Everyone knows they are mostly french, and the french always surrender in a fight.

    The scientifically impossible I do right away
    The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer


  2. Canadians may seem harmless enough, but don’t forget it was they who burned down the Whitehouse – after eating the feast laid out for its inhabitants. This auspicious occasion, as many Canadians know, represented the birth of poutine, a revered Canadian dish.

    Constant viligance.

    p.


  3. Yeah, down here in the states we call poutine:
    cheese fries with gravy.

    BTW yours is the most brilliantly funny blog I’ve ever seen.

    They actually showed us the Burt the turtle film when I was in grade school. The terrorist mood ring the US ministry of fatherland defense has come up with is just as useless and twice as funny as duck and cover. “Orange alert” indeed. Lets not forget that Canadian genius Red Green inspired the plastic sheet and duct tape defense plan to be used in case of nuclear, chemical or biological attack.

    They should hire red green to do the new civil defense film. I can see him singing:

    Duct tape and cover, duct tape and cover…

    The scientifically impossible I do right away
    The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer


  4. Thanks! Glad you were amused. You just made my otherwise depressing day.
    I would actually love to see Red Green do a Burt the turtle duct and cover remake. It would surely be both hilarious AND useful in the event of the inevitable, impending apocolypse the insurgents are surely planning as we sit amicably surfing the internets.

    Constant viligance.

    p.


  5. Dude… you used the word “terrorist” in a blog post with a V for Vandetta theme? You are now on So many lists. If I were you, I would start listening for clicking noises every time you pick up the phone.


  6. Listening for clicking noises will help me enhance my constant vigilance.

    Constant vigilance.

    p4p.

    This comment is brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department who brought you this comment.



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